I Punched Jack Johnson

Aside from the activism in my last post, I did actually get to experience some blogworthy stuff last weekend.

Namely, I punched Jack Johnson in the face...MORE

That isn't hyperbole in the slightest, so please let me explain:

I went to Somerset with the GF, my sister, and her BF, Joe, for a weekend of tubing, concerting, and generally chilling out. We got back to our hotel from tubing the Apple River early Sunday afternoon, and, being that it was unseasonably cold on Sunday, we were ready to hit the hot tub in order to turn our extremities back from blue to their normal paper white tone. Turns out, the musicians were staying at the same hotel as us, and who should be in the pool...? Yup, Jack Johnson, his keyboardist Zack Gill, and their little kids, playing with water toys in the shallow end.

Luckily, my years of experience maintaining composure around touring musicians while in SCOPE prepared me for the occasion and I feel that under the circumstances of being stripped to the waist and slightly buzzed in front of possibly my favorite musician since I got an early copy of Brushfire Fairytales way back in eighth grade, I kept it together remarkably well.

After my pulse got back to the mid seventies I moved to the deep end of the pool so I wouldn't be tempted to gawk. I thought things were going well, and I started occupying myself by teaching Joe how to float on his back (he swims like Zach Braff in Garden State). Alas, during my explanation I swung my arm back rather abruptly and cold cocked Jack Johnson, who had since made his way across the pool, holding his toddler son out in front of him, squarely in the jaw.

At first I thought I hit his kid, so I must've had a pretty horrified look on my face, but after he shook off the blow he gave me the nod and a "no worries" and went back to bouncing his boy across the water.

Okay, so maybe "punched" was a little hyperbolic, but given how chill the situation ended up being, I imagine there aren't too many people who can say the phrase "I punched Jack Johnson in the face." I'll never wash my left knuckles again.